East African Single Malt Club
Or
The League of Extra Ordinary Gentlemen
The history of the club is soaked in time and lateral space. While there is no written documentary evidence of its original inception, workings and eventual, though not permanent demise, its origins and aims must be recorded from a rather hazy and reflective recollection.
The club was first formed in the last century around 1998 to be a little more precise. Its original and formatting members were a disparate group of individuals emanating from such questionable backgrounds and pasts as Kenyan farming backgrounds, shady military pasts, humanitarian types, intelligence and your general 'jasus, this is a good way to get pissed' present! It is without question that the concept for the club was formed among a few tried and tested men who had worked far too long in Somalia, drank far too much cheap blended whiskey, and as the autumn of their working careers hoved into view decided that, exciting and all as Somalia was with its daily rounds of kidnapping, targeted shootings and general insecurity, cheap blended whiskey was definately taking the risk to far. Time to sample the finer things in life!!!
Over a few cheap whiskeys it was quickly decided that hence forth an all male members club would be constituted (more aesthetically than legal) whose sole aim in life was to ensure that no further cheap blended whiskey would ever pass our parched lips and that from now on only the delights of Scotland's finest malt would cross the threshold of our dwellings. This was to be reinforced, for those of a more lax character, by a monthly meeting and banquet, dressed formally and with samples supplied by our erstwhile regional duty free offers.
The first banquet and meeting was held in a member’s home in Karen from which everyone sallied forth to Gypsies in the early hours of the following morning in their own vehicles. Since that first Banquet it was decided that from then on all Banquets would be held at a more professional location renowned for their culinary prowess, not that the hosts presentation was below culinary expectations or standards, but because one leading member convinced himself (and eventually and erroneously, others) that Gordon's (the host's dog) bowl had been quickly scooped from the floor by the enterprising staff when a shortage of serving bowls was realized, washed, filled with aromatic Irish stew and handed to him to eat. The fact that the dog was the only one who paid him any attention that evening convinced him that he had been served the dog's bowl!!
The second important lesson emanating from that night was that from henceforth all members be strongly advised to travel to and especially from the Banquet by taxi! This was in response to the standard of driving, or complete lack of it, that sped down the Ngong Road in a manner equivalent to the standard and speed of driving displayed in the cartoon characters in Whacky Races. Driving like that was not seen again until the inception of those car races favoured by wee enthusiasts! And just like in the cartoon, all survived....but with a valuable lesson...!!
The club grew and began to formulate great plans for expansion and even coveted the idea of forming regionally, hence the title which still remains to this day. The furthest point reached in this endeavor was an overnight Banquet at Crater Lake tented camp to celebrate our first Burns Night, complete with haggis and kilted Scotsman who performed the address to the Haggis in traditional style and correct enunciation.
The club petered along for some time until recalls and new deployments diminished the membership to a paltry few and eventually slipped into decline and a kind of hiatus of affectionate memories.
The years swooned by with the occasional enquiry from some starry eyed member in the wee hours of the morning wondering whatever happened to the club.
Then in July 2008 the dormancy ended and an outburst of cumulative interest from some old members resulted in a serious discussion to see if the old club and its standards could be exhumed, dusted off and presented once again to humanity? A positive Tsunami of collective support heralded an almost immediate meeting in the home of a previous member, a fine homestead renowned for its eloquent standard of cooking. The meeting was attended by the current committee who in traditional style accepted their various committee roles in order to promote the resurrection of the club. Over copious amounts of delectable golden shades of malt a new constitution was drawn up, roles of responsibility assigned and duties prepared including preparation for the first banquet.
Word went out discreetly among eminent and extra ordinary persons thought to enjoy the spontaneous humour of camaraderie supported by a sumptuous banquet enveloped in a quintessential tasting of five different malts throughout the evening. (Our now well stocked caller allows members to taste previous malts supped and enjoyed at previous banquets). The replies were all positive and supportive and the first banquet was held at Tamambos to wide membership acclaim. This was followed after Xmas with the Burns Night of 2009 held at the Lord Errol where complete with haggis and piper the club established itself as a serious event not to be missed each quarter.
Our membership now stands at 55 committed and at full capacity.
We welcome one and all to our club and wish you pleasant memories and clear heads!
History of the Club
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This page was last updated: August 24, 2010
